Minneapolis Is Swimming In Rules
The litany of restrictions at Minneapolis beaches boils down to one big one: No fun. By STEVE YOUNG
Last update: July 26, 2008 - 5:15 PM As originally published in the Star Tribune
Where do many Minneapolis residents go to have fun on a hot summer day? Not to Minneapolis beaches, that's for sure -- because fun is simply not allowed. Better to go to a family member's or friend's cabin or to a suburban beach, where fun is not yet outlawed. ¶ Ten years ago, I moved with my young children to Minneapolis from Chicago. That summer, and every summer since, when I go to one of the city beaches I am amazed and annoyed with the city officials who turned our natural gift, our city lakes, into large, boring wading pools -- people standing or sitting in the water, hampered by the multitude of antifun rules that the Minneapolis Park and Recreation Board has imposed over the years. ¶ These rules include those that prohibit small, colorful flotation devices for toddlers to wear in the water (see the Park Board's Rule No. 1). Only Coast Guard-approved life jackets are allowed at Minneapolis beaches, and they'd better be worn the correct way. Children are not allowed to give one another piggyback rides, and parents are not allowed a child on their backs, either. Games of "chicken" are of course prohibited -- and throwing a child into the water guarantees a lifeguard's whistle-blowing. Oh, and don't run into the water -- for running is against Rule No. 5.
While it's hard for me to believe, my wife and her family insist there were swim docks at the city beaches in the early 1980s. They say they grew up swimming out to them and diving off. They even say they had fun. But sometime since, the docks were removed and the antifun rules were imposed.
I know from old photographs I've seen in a Linden Hills restaurant that once the beaches were a lot of fun. They were crowded on hot summer days. One of these photos, circa 1905, shows high divers jumping off a board fashioned on top of the old Classic Pavilion at Lake Harriet. There is another photograph of water baseball, circa 1915, showing players standing on inflatable bases. The Classic Pavilion also hosted other amenities, including dressing-room rentals, a bathing suit, soap and a towel for 25 cents.
During a Park Board meeting in March, I asked the commissioners if they could revisit amenities such as swim docks and remove some of their overzealous beach rules. In response, they asked no questions and made no comments. Thanks for coming; the next item on our agenda is ...
Since I began talking with people about the beaches, I hear funny stories from these grown-ups about how lifeguards blew the whistle at them for some infraction of the beach rules. Some residents who enjoy swimming in the city's lakes know to do so in the morning, before the lifeguards show up. Boaters also know they can jump in to cool off in the middle of the lake without reprimand. Of course, these acts of enjoyment are violation of Rule No. 9, "Swim only within marked areas." The Park Board does offer a legal way to swim outside of designated swim areas. You can fill out a permit and pay an hourly fee of $115 for your very own Park Board lifeguard and rescue boat.
Some cities have figured out that their beaches are still an amenity (and not a liability) for citizens. Minneapolis residents with extra cash and fortitude have figured that you can have still have fun at an area beach by driving to Shady Oak Beach in Hopkins. It boasts two sand play areas, a water play area, a concession stand, shade umbrellas, and restroom/changing areas. Not too far from the shore, but safely in the deep end of the lake, is a swim dock where kids can jump and dive. All you have to do is see the line of kids and adults waiting to use the high diving board to see how much fun that is.
An extra bonus of driving to Shady Oak Beach and paying for swimming there is that the lifeguards don't spend a lot of their time yelling at the beachgoers to stop having fun.